Saturday, August 4, 2007

Penis Plants Revisited

Exhibit A:

My penis plants have disappeared. They lasted for about a week, the height being little caps sprouting throughout the bed and then abruptly disappearing.

I have been thinking much about these plants, and why they strike me as something curious. I am not interested in them being curious in of themselves, but more so why I consider them strange.

1. These penis plants came up without any notion that this could happen. They seem to be a perfectly random occurrence. It was something I didn't even know had the possibility of happening.

2. I have never seen this kind of plant before, therefore it is not cataloged in my database of information of natural occurring instances. I have no name for these...things, and so it is questionable to my matrix of language/definition.

3. The idea of luck seems to have a place in this specimen. How lucky it is that a random instance has occurred? Not only is it something I never even thought about, let alone the random penis structure, coupled with the random bright yellow color.

4. Random occurrences give way to humor, or more so a sense of euphoria. It was funny. And magical.

Let us explore:

In gardening, cause and effect are pretty clearly laid out.


Too much water=dead plant.

Not enough water=dead plant.

The same can be said about sun, fertilizer, and many other variables. I always considered gardening to be a healthy balance between different elements, much like health in eastern medicine is applied to the human body. Zen of gardening, if you will. This characteristic is welcomed by so many and is enjoyed because of its ease to visualize the future outcome while posing enough of a challenge to cultivate one's art of gardening.

So for simplicity's sake, let us define gardening as:
Result=(Dedication)x(Expectable Outcome)
(or R=DE)

Here we can see that the result is very straight forward.

However, the penis plants pose a dilemma since it seems to exist without any context, furthermore, without a foundation of understanding outside of given parameters such as language or experience.

Thus the penis plant seems to hover without a function, without any establishment or function of its own. This encapsulates a randomness, uneasiness, and finally, the brain's surrender to the preposterous, leading to humor.


vergelimbo said...


I would have been tempted to dig these Phalli up to see if they were attatched to a priapic garden gnome-or five. A quick scan of mushroom types makes me think your intruders may be related to the Phallus Impudicus mushroom. However they are more "lifelike" than any of the photos I could find.
You have great photos on this blog, and I chuckled at the pseudoscientific graphings you attempted to explain these abberations.

Suggestion: Attempt to cultivate the spores [save the soil] and sell these intrusions online for a mint.

Check out my recent post on The Walkscore on my blog and let me know how you rate

Keep it up [no pun]


Zut Alors said...

Oh no, they have sprouted, spored and wilted already. It never occurred to me to save the spores.

Angie said...

Very interesting and extremely funny!